Big Casino

You're always in the classroom

2009-11-04T00:24:33Z

I have now come to realise that I really don't need to worry about the future or past as it's the here and now that counts. It's about enjoying your life and not dwelling on mistakes you have made and the mistakes you will make in the future. Nobody is perfect and the experinces you have will only make you grow as a person, so I say embrace them.

Spontaneous decisions and alcohol made me do something completely out of character and left me feeling quite shocked. I don't regret those actions though, as it has taught me that it's not a path I want to go down and i'm glad I could find out firsthand. So I deleted the text and number on my phone, and from this day forth I shall never look back and dwell on things that I just can't change. I will only learn from the lessons that my life has seen fit to teach me.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Technological Freak!

2009-10-18T00:23:35Z

I'm writing this via my shiny new iPhone 3G! With a regular wage coming in I finally decided to give in to my desires and get a monthly contract with O2. It's about £35 a month but as far as I'm concerned it's worth every penny.

I'm totally in love with it and I'm wondering if there is an app that allows me to sleep with it because I would dearly love to do so. The touch screen is taking some getting used to but that won't last forever and I'm constantly being astounded at what this baby can do. It also means that I will be updating my lj more as I can now do it whenever I please.

I do have a new number but I'm also going to be keeping my old phone (which was developed before Jesus was born) as I won't be taking my iPhone 3G with me when I go on a night out. I can't risk it getting stolen or losing it because I refuse to pay an extra £10 a month for insurance. I've got a case for the iPhone 3G and I'm confident that it won't get damaged as I kept my old phone without one for years and it never got damaged.

Anyway, enough gushing!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Tom is Now a Working Boy

2009-09-15T22:16:10Z

Hmmm, I'm starting to wonder if putting that title was a good idea as it makes me sound like a male prostitute. I'm also finding the idea that anyone would pay me for sex, when I don't get any just offering my services for free, hilarious. Now that sounds like I go around asking random women to have sex with me...

"Spade, Meet Tom. Tom, Spade. Now start digging!"

...it's good to be back!

So, since our last episode I've gone and done this wondrous thing called getting a job. While I wait for you to pick your jaw up off the floor I shall explain how I got it, and what the hell I actually do all day.

It all started in a far away land, fighting giant scorpions with a non-stick frying pan and only a scantily clad buxom but fairly annoying tribal woman for company. She would cook me giant crabs for dinner, but after hearing her grating laugh for the 405th time that day I left her on a mountain top somewhere. It’s ok though, I caught her sleeping with the dwarf that was guiding us through that perilous mountain range. The wolves that nearly tore off my arms more than made up for not having to hear that laugh ever again.

As I stumbled into a gigantic forest, desperately trying to avoid those ravenous wolves, I came across a tree that spoke to me; which was probably just a side effect of being barely conscious after being whacked over the head by the butt of a Dwarves axe. Anyway, the tree told me that I need to wake up and stop dreaming, because Chris Moyles was blabbering on the radio and that was my cue to head off to the job centre. Luckily I decided to update my Facebook status before I went, and that’s where it all began (after my fantastic journey, of course).

When I came home I’d received a message from Laura (psyche_71 ), who let me know that a position may be coming up at her work place and that I should send my CV in. A week later and I’m sitting in the reception of a place called Boundary Bathrooms, a little nervous but confidently backed up by Laura’s assurances that they were desperate for someone. It turns out that I needn’t have worried, as the ‘interview’ was little more than an informal chat. I was told that my CV was “outstanding”, but that he did have a concern that I may be “overqualified” and that I might “get bored quickly”. A year out of work gets you bored quickly, and it was something new that I really wanted to have a shot at. I got the job anyway, and I started the Monday after (7th September).

My full title is ‘Data Input Administrator’, which is really a fancy way of saying that I sit at a computer updating prices on bathroom products for a website, and also adding new products when I’m supposed to. We share a room with sales and customer service, so it’s not a dull atmosphere at all and everyone is really friendly and funny. Putting in prices can be a little tedious after a while, so I enjoy putting up new products more as I get to create the text and edit images.

The bottom line is that I can see myself spending a long while here, but if I do ever leave (or get laid off) then I finally have some admin experience that opens up a lot of doors if I ever find myself going down the unemployment route ever again (I hope to God that it doesn’t happen anytime soon, and I have this job for a long time). I also now have some much needed moolah in my pocket, or at least I will as soon as I get my first paycheck at the end of the month (and it won't be a bad haul either, since I'm working 5 days a week 9 - 5.30).

So, finally, I’m now once again a part of the working masses. It may not have been the job I envisaged when I set off for university, but I guess you never know what road life will take you down. It’s a new experience, with new people, and I’m finally no longer a victim of the recession that the news likes to blab on about. For everyone else still out of work, there are jobs out there. You just need to go down other routes rather than the usual tasks of checking the Job Centre or looking in your local newspaper. I have a friend to thank for my job, so ask everyone you know!

Apart from the job a lot more has happened, but I’ll write about that another time as it’s late and I have to get up at about 6.45am tomorrow morning. That’s a working boy for you, even if he won’t have a quickie with you in the back of a Ford Fiesta for £50.

Kiss Kiss Kiss!!!

2009-08-16T14:10:29Z

Fucking hell, I have a terribly boring love life for years then more than one girl comes at once!

I guess I shouldn't be complaining, and I am starting to like being single. If it means I can kiss girls I've only just met then, well, maybe it's pretty good. This time next year I may have actually found someone who I can have a relationship with, fingers crossed!

What? I like being single but I want a relationship? Yes, I'm still a massive weirdo.

Incy Wincy Spider Climbed Up The Water Spout

2009-07-02T23:40:10Z

I had a dream last night that involved two big spiders. One was crawling around on the landing at the top of the stairs in my house, while the other was in the bathroom doorway. They had small bodies and massive legs, probably bigger than anything that exists in reality. Anyway, the strange thing is I've just stepped out of my doorway and there was a fairly large spider sitting in the bathroom doorway. I was going to catch it with a cup but I hate how they run really fast so I was just about to leave it when I saw another spider, around the same size, crawling up one of the landing walls. I quickly went back inside my bedroom to wait for them to go away, because I'm a chicken like that.

Forget the spiders though, am I psychic? I dreamt something the night before it actually happened. Of course, the spiders were a lot smaller but they were still spiders, and there were in more or less the same place my dream placed them in. Yes, maybe it's a coincidence, but what are the chances of that? I really believe there's more to the mind then we know of right now, and I do think that sometimes it may actually be possible to foresee things before they happen. Most so-called psychics are probably whackos, but maybe there's a select few out there that have started to unlock powers future human generations may have in abundance.

TOM MULROONEY - SUPER PSYHIC SPIDER PREDICTOR AT YOUR SERVICE!!!

1000 Entries of Hope

2009-05-24T22:05:25Z

It’s strange that my 1000th entry comes on the night before the biggest football game my hometown has ever seen. Just as my hometown team, Burnley F.C, are on the verge of entering football’s top league I’d like to think that I, as a person, am also on the verge of entering an amazing period of my life. It hasn’t happened yet, but the baby steps have started and I’m travelling down a road that may finally lead to me getting what I want out of my life.

On the face of it I’m still an unemployed bum who is finding it incredibly hard to get anywhere in this fragile economy, but I still have the flame of hope burning inside me; much like the thousands of Burnley fans who, myself included, will make their way down to Wembley tomorrow to see their team possibly enter the Premiership. No matter how desperate the situation may seem (although when it comes to Burnley this doesn’t really apply as I think the odds are pretty high that we will come out with a win) hope defeats everything. There’s no harm in being down every now and again, but at the end of the day you have to hold your head high and tell yourself that it can be done.

Old, and brilliant, friends are coming back into the picture, along with new friends that are finally plugging in the gaping holes that have long been a part of my social network. When I think back about that timid 18 year-old only a few years ago – just about to go to university – it amazes me when I see just how much I’ve grown as a person. Two days before my 22nd birthday is the best time to be thinking about this change and how I’m going to use it to cope in the future. I know I can cope now, and I know I’m ready to face anything life can throw at me.

1000 entries of growing up, wishing I could have done things in a different way. I know that doesn’t matter anymore, and that I just need to learn from my mistakes and move on. Dwelling on the past never got me anywhere, and I’m so glad that I’ve left that rut. A single unemployed 22 year-old may not scream happiness; but the future is yet to happen and I have my whole life ahead of me to rectify any downsides.
So here’s to 1000 entries, and here’s to Burnley F.C.

Most of all, here’s to me. Here’s to 1000 more entries of love, sex (come on, a guy can wish), happiness, hope, dreams and conclusions. Here’s to my life, and the fact that you can make anything sound interesting.

Stay with me, because things will only get better.

Football, Kissing and X-Men.

2009-05-16T22:36:09Z

Isn't it strange that when you actually have things to write about you don't actually write about them? I’d like to say it’s because I’ve been far too busy to sit down and write an entry for ten minutes, but I’d be lying about that because I’ve had plenty of time to do this during the week (as per usual, due to the lack of a job) . My weekend, however, was actually pretty busy for once. Yes, Thomas Paul Mulrooney is actually getting a proper social life.

On Friday (not yesterday, the Friday before that) I went out with an old friend I’ve recently got back in touch with. I’ve been out with him a few weeks back as well, and on a game at Turf Moor, and it’s nice to start becoming friends again. His girlfriend tagged along, who is really nice I have to add, and we made the most of it considering town was dead. How dead was it? Well, if you had placed a dead bird in the middle of the dance floor it would have had more life in it than the amount of people in a club. I stayed down for a short while after Gareth and Katie had gone home, hoping that Nikki (my brother’s girlfriend) and Stef were still out. Unfortunately they weren’t, but I stupidly spent £9 getting into two clubs to try and find someone I knew. Anyway, I ended up going back to Stef’s house for some reason (even though, like I said, they weren’t in town anymore) and sleeping there. I better update about that in a friends locked post, but before you ask I didn’t have sex with her.

Saturday was, well, the infamous first leg of the play-offs between Burnley and Reading. We won 1-0 through a penalty by Graham Alexander, and we also went on to beat them 2-0 at Reading on Tuesday with two spectacular goals by Patterson and Thompson (seriously, both were Premiership quality goals). This means we’re now through to the play-off final against Sheffield Utd, which will be played at Wembley the day before my birthday (which is 26th May, just so you remember!). I bought my ticket on Friday and I CAN’T WAIT. I’ve never been to Wembley, neither the old nor new stadium, so it’s going to be amazing. 36,000 Burnley fans and 37,000 Sheffield Utd (not sure why they got allocated more tickets than us) will create one hell of an atmosphere.

After the match we went to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I didn’t think I would like it at first as I’d checked some of the reviews out beforehand, but I thought it was probably the best X-Men film yet (it’s on par with X-Men 2 anyway). It won’t be the best film I’ve seen this year, but it will certainly be one of the most enjoyable.

Sunday was Race for Life; which is a women only affair done to raise money for Cancer Research. My sister, auntie, cousins, Joanne (and her mum), and my mum’s work friends did it in memory of my mum. As you can see in the picture Joanne had a t-shirt in memory of my mum on, but what you can’t see is all the new t-shirts that the nursery staff had on in memory of my mum. About 1,500 women ran it on that day, and I’m proud of all of them – strangers or not! I took some photos of the race, which you can view here.

That’s it for now. I would have done a far more detailed update but I think I’ve bored you long enough.

The Thoughts Are There, But The Fingers Just Aren't Typing

2009-05-14T23:15:58Z

Back to personal blogging? GOOOOOOOOOOOO..........

Well, when I've slept anyway. It was actually a pretty eventful weekend, but I have to learn to actually write about it close to the incidents in question and not days later. I feel that I'm losing my love of writing, and that only happens when you're too lazy to actually do any. So, I'm going to correct this from tomorrow.

P.S Of course I still update ButtonSmasher, but I'm paid to do that so obviously I'm not going to neglect my duties when I have a contract to fulfil.

Since when did I care about money went it comes to writing? I should do it because I love it, not because I have to.

A Soggy Queue

2009-05-07T23:20:17Z

I spent my Bank Holiday Monday standing in an incredibly long queue for six and a half hours. Halfway down the heavens opened up, so then I was standing in an incredibly long queue for six and a half hours in the rain. What was it all for? Strangely enough it was a ticket for a football game.

I've probably mentioned this before but I'm not exactly a massive football fan. In the last few years I've grown more interested in it, but that interest has mainly been directed at my local team; Burnley FC. I used to share a season ticket with my brother when I was younger, but I was never that into it compared to him. These days I love watching Burnley play, and I love the atmosphere at some of the games and, even if we are sometimes negative, the fans. It's not because of how good Burnley are doing at the moment, as I've always followed the team, so I'm not just jumping on the bandwagon. I've simply just found out that I love going to games, for the atmosphere, rather than watching a game on TV. I also follow England when they play, so I do watch some games on TV, and I also listen to Burnley games on the radio.

Anyway, Burnley have got into the Championship play-offs because we came 5th in the league table. The top two teams get automatic promotion into the premiership - where they'll play against the likes of Manchester United and Liverpool - while the next four have to play another of the four; and the two winners from that go through to a final at Wembley and the winner joins the top two teams in the Premiership (replacing the three bottom teams from here whom got relegated). Trust me when I say it's simpler than it sounds.

We're playing Reading on Saturday and then again at their ground on Tuesday. I managed to get a ticket right next to my brother and dad's season ticket seats, so at least I get to sit next to them. I just hope spending the majority of my Bank Holiday getting absolutely soaked and having aching legs for the rest of the day was worth it.

I'm sure it will be, because I have faith in you Burnley.

*****

I actually have a busy weekend planned as well. I'm going out with Gareth tomorrow night, going to the game on Saturday and going to watch my sister, Jenn and a few other people I know in Race For Life on Sunday. My sister has raised over £200 in sponsorship money, which goes to Cancer Research. Obviously she's doing it in memory of my mum, who will be there in spirit.

Writer's Block: End of the World as We Know It

2009-05-01T23:05:21Z

Robert Frost speculated about the world ending in fire or in ice. Which do you think is likely to end us all: meteorite, global warming, nuclear weapons, zombies, or the superflu?

View 501 Answers

Call me morbid but the end of the world - or apocalypse - is a subject that has always fascinated me. Usually the 'end of the world’ doesn’t mean that the earth explodes or humanity dies out; rather it means the breakdown of our current civilization, with people surviving even the harshest conditions. It is not what caused the catastrophe that fascinates me, but instead it's how people survive after such an event has occurred. It can be zombies, a nuclear holocaust, or simply global warming; it is how people cope with their new reality, how each individual deals with it in their own way and the horrors or humanity of the human race that become exposed.

I'm currently reading The Road by Cormac McCarthy. The novel follows the journey of a father and his young son as they make their way across the charred landscape of a post-apocalyptic USA. The father has to be wary of any other survivors he comes across in order to protect his son, and he has to believe that everyone is only looking out for themselves in order to do this. Contrast this with some of the zombie fiction, or films, that I read or watch. The common theme in the zombie world is that people have to work together in order to survive, whether it be from the zombies or other people who are out to only gain from the situation. The fascinating thing is how society works after civilization has collapsed. People inevitably come into conflict with each other in any situation, but do they learn to work together or do they treat it like a dog-eat-dog world?

However civilization collapses is not the important thing, it is the survival of the human race after the big occurrence has happened. The mass of fiction available on the topic partly serves to advise people on how they should, or shouldn't, handle the situation if it ever occurs. It would do people good to read about how humanity copes when the comforts we've grown to rely on are suddenly stripped away. People may actually see the rotten core of humanity, or they may see how good would triumph over evil if the human race had to get its act together and actually work together. It's hard to see that actually happening, but maybe a massive worldwide disaster would get humanity halfway there. Either that or our race would die out and the planet would forget about us as a tiny blip in its long life.

Work Placement's Can Help

2009-04-21T22:00:52Z

I love coffee, but after a week of working in a coffee shop the smell starts to make you feel a little sick. The mixture of coffee, cappuccino, latte, mocha, iced - and all that jazz - starts to get a little sweet and sickly; the caffeine crawling up your nostrils and lingering there for the rest of the day. That's not to say I don't like the job, you just don't seem to be all that eager to take advantage of the free coffee when you've been dealing with it all day.

Before you ask, no, I haven't got a permanent job. I'm working with Costa Coffee on a work placement with the Prince's Trust. I finished it today, but I do feel as if I've gained a great deal from the placement. Firstly it's got me working again, and after a year and a half without work it's refreshing to be actually doing something with my day. It can be hard work in a coffee shop, and even when it's not busy I find myself coming away with aching feet. I think it's more because I'm not used to it yet, as my lazy arse has effectively been doing nothing much since July.

Secondly the job has raised my confidence a great deal. I've found my confidence is far better than it was before I went to university in recent years anyway, but it was the first time (bar once or twice at Isa Bar) I had worked on a till serving customers. I never used to think that customer service would be the right kind of job for me, but from doing this course and meeting new people all the time I've found that I enjoy it. I've always been something of a people watcher, sitting somewhere and watching the world go by, but I can also be a big people person so maybe a job like this would be good for me. It's been a good experience; it's just that it doesn't translate into a paying job just yet.

In other news I forgot to go to a Youth Work Level One Qualification course I put my name down for tonight. I only put my name down because I wanted to try everything, but I'm not sure I really want to go into that sector anyway. I've just had so many other things on my mind lately that I totally forgot about it, so it wasn't really a top priority. I would have liked to have gone along to registration night for curiosities sake, but I've missed it now so I'm not going to dwell on it. Besides, I could sign up to another course another time if I really wanted to; because at the moment I think I'm taking on way too much at once, especially with all the thoughts I have flying around my head about my life right now.

My life? It's not that bad right now, but I know one thing that will make it better. I'm sure anyone reading this will know what I mean, so I won't go on about it now. Besides, it's time for bed!

Got It In One

2009-04-07T22:18:33Z

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination. - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

My Motivation Is On The Up!

2009-04-05T17:28:28Z

I've been on a training course all week and I think it's one of the best decisions I've made in ages. A woman came up to me when I went to sign on at the job centre the other week. Cheryl, the woman's name, talked me through it and told me that it was a Customer Service, Sport & Leisure course. Now the very mention of 'sport' made be a bit cautious to say the least, but I decided that I would go along to the taster day they were having because I'll take anything at the moment. It was a great decision, and now I'm on a course that has made me realise that I have a lot to offer and sitting on my arse and doing nothing about it isn't going to get me anywhere.

We cover the basics like employability and interview skills, but we also do specialised courses such as first aid and food hygiene. We did the first aid part at the end of this week and, as a result, I'm now qualified to administer first aid to anyone. This, and the food hygiene, will look great on my CV and increase my chances of getting a job over other others. There's also a big emphasis on teamwork, so thank god that the other people on the course are a great bunch and I love working with them. We have a right laugh so I actually look forward to going in every day, which I wouldn't if no-one wanted to work together and people just sat there in silence. There's also one guy on the course who I went to school with, and although he was never really someone I got on with it's nice to see someone who know there as well.

Motivation and confidence in yourself, especially in this crappy economy, is key; so they try to build these two things with guest speakers, and one was particularly interesting. Rachel Smith, a world champion dragon boat racer, came in to tell us how she went from not being a particularly sporty in person to part of a team winning gold medals for Great Britain. Of course they were times when she wanted to give up, but she believed in herself and got support from the team members around her to be able to carry on, and that's what we need to do. She went on to row across the Atlantic in a two man boat with another woman. It took them 76 days (they missed the woman's world record by 24 hours, which was a shame but they said that it was never their aim to beat the world record anyway. However, they did come first in the woman's class of the race they were participating in) and they raised £50,000 for Breast Cancer Care. At first it hits you that you've never done as much with your life as she has, but it also tells you that there's no reason why you can't. You just need to have confidence in yourself and the drive to succeed.

So, yes, I'm loving it so far. We have another week of training and then we do a work placement for a week, which should be fun. Hopefully I won't be as tired next week as I think I've got back into sleeping proper hours again, although I did have to do a lot of sleeping this weekend to catch up. Maybe I shouldn't have done that, but try telling my brain that.

What Needs To Be Said

2009-03-30T22:32:45Z

It's my own life, not your's.

Don't dictate who I can and can't see, or who I can speak to. You may seem to have a grudge against everyone but a few people, calling them ridiculous names for no apparent reason, but I don't and I may actually quite like the people you're slagging off.

I love you, but that doesn't mean I'm going to think or act the same way you do. You and your so-called 'mate' may want to alienate yourself from other people, whom you pick on for the slightest thing, but I'd quite like to have a social life without the pressue of you constantly telling me how much you dislike the people I choose to hang around with.

I shouldn't care, I know, but when it's someone so close to me it still gets to me. So, please, keep whatever shit you've got against the world to yourself.

No Need To Worry

2009-03-28T18:17:25Z

Last Sunday was the first Mother's Day we have had without my mum. The first time is always going to be the hardest time, but it's always going to be one of those days, commercial holiday it may be, where you miss your mum the most. We still bought her some flowers and a little verse on a card to put on her grave and, after first visiting my nana's grave, we took it up to the place where my mum is buried. We also planted some flowers on and around her grave (and a little stone with a painting of a bird on), and eventually they're going to plant a tree there and we'll also be able to put a marker down. Strangely enough the grave next to my mum's has a stone marker with the initials 'J.M' on, the same initials as my mum.

It was the first time I had been to my mum's resting place since the day of the funeral, and it brought back memories of that day. The church was packed, even more than my nana's funeral, and I helped carry my mum's wicker basket (we didn't want to say the word 'coffin') into the church along with my brother, my uncle David (my mum's brother) and Ian. I know she would have been proud of me and Nick doing that, and I would never have said no. My sister, brother and cousin Bethany also did some readings in church, and I know she would have been proud of them too. After the service we carried out my mum and made our way to her final resting place. We weren't prepared for how many people would turn up at the burial.

When we finally arrived at the cemetery I casually glanced around as we walked up to where my mum would be buried. I nudged my dad and we both turned back around and saw the long row of people following behind. The cemetery’s roads were lined with cars, with throngs of people who had come to pay their final respects to my mum flowing past them. I knew my mum was a popular and respected person, even if she never admitted it herself, but I wasn't prepared for how many people would come and stand by her graveside.

My mum's immediate family, including myself, all threw a red rose on her basket followed by the traditional soil. Then most of the other's stepped up to also throw some soil in, and that took a while. As all this happened the birds were singing and the sun slid through a crack in the clouds. There couldn't be a better place my mum could have been buried in. It is a place surrounded by trees; with a view of Pendle Hill and the countryside around Burnley and the Ribble Valley that my mum absolutely adored. I know she would have loved it there.

Back in the present I found it hard to say anything to my mum's grave like the rest of my family did. I paid my respects in silent, staring at the little flower my grandma had planted on my mum's grave. I looked back a few times as we left, but I know that one day I'll have to go up there on my own and say the things that I can't say in front of my family. I need to do it on my own; it's just the way I am.

I was always the one my parents said they "worried about the most". Well, mum, wherever you may be there's no need to worry. Whatever decision I make in my life I'll always stop and think about what you might have said, and I know if I do that then I'll always be fine.

Review: Wanted (18)

2009-03-22T02:23:10Z

Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy) lives a dull anxiety-ridden life as an office worker; that is until he is approached by Fox (Angelina Jolie). Fox tells him that his father, an assassin who Wesley never really knew, has recently been killed. Reluctantly, at first, Wesley is pulled into the world of secret assassin's known as The Fraternity, overseen by Sloan (Morgan Freeman). This fraternity keeps the world in balance by killing people whose names appear in a secret code on a cloth woven by a 'loom of fate'. So, basically, fate tells them who needs to die; or at least that's what they have been led to believe. If you think that's crazy enough then Wesley sets out to avenge his father's death with the ultimately cool ability to curve bullets. Far-fetched it may be, but no-one ever said that every film had to be realistic.

Indeed, like The Matrix pretty much every action scene is dominated by superhuman abilities that, admittedly, look cool on screen. One of the best scenes has Jolie hanging out of the windscreen of a car going at breakneck speeds, while shooting at someone driving what seems to be a pet store truck. Dispense with wondering how a simple truck could possibly keep up with a Dodge Viper and respect it for what it is, a thoroughly decent car chase scene. Unfortunately most of the other action scenes are things we've all pretty much seen before, and often better. This is a film with plenty of 'bullet time' moments (something that was originally amazing, but has now been used so many times in action films that it prompts little more than a yawn), even going so far as to show a bullet slowly bursting through someone's cranium. It's nicely done, but it's nothing all that special.

For his debut action lead McAvoy puts in a good performance, even if his American accent isn't exactly stellar. Freeman, of course, plays his usual wise old man routine. In his few appearances he's as good as he always is, but you never really expect anything less from Freeman. Jolie isn't bad either, but you can't help feeling like she's there just to sex the film up a little (although you can't really complain when she shows off her bare ass).

Basically it's nothing more than your average action romp with a bunch of big faces hanging around. It's The Matrix without the crutch of a somewhat thoughtful story to back it up. It's also extremely loosely based on the comic it portrays, submitting super villains for assassins. Why bother adapting something if you're just going to butcher it?

Adrenaline junkies will love it, but that audience never did care much for a thoughtful story.

DVD Extras: The DVD comes with an extract from the comic it's based on, although I don't know why they bother when you can immediately see that they have hardly anything in common. There are also two short features on the DVD itself. One is a brief look at how they filmed the Dodge Viper chase scene, and the second is a set tour of The Fraternity's textile mill hideout. It's nothing to get excited about, which means that the film is only worth a rental at the most.

Memories By The Sea

2009-03-19T22:45:02Z

This picture reminds me of my mum, simply because I was on a day trip to Blackpool with my parents when I took it.

I'm thinking that about a lot of photos lately; finding myself trying to remember where my mum was when I took it, or even looking for all the photos I have that have my mum in them. Some of them are stupid ones she didn't want me to take, and she always told me to delete them afterwards. I never did, and I'm glad I kept them.

My mum was in a wheelchair on the day I took this photo, too weak to walk around all day. She was her normal cheerful self though, and I even took a few pictures of her sitting in her wheelchair on one of the piers. She would kill me if I put those pictures on the Internet though, so they're staying in the family collection.

Another Year Without A Holiday

2009-03-19T18:08:00Z

It looks like I won't be going on holiday again this year. It's not because I don't want to (believe me, I haven't been on holiday in about four years now so I think I deserve one, especially after what's gone on lately and the fact that I did a degree for three years), it's because I simply can't afford it; both in monetary terms and in the amount of stress it's putting me under.

The job hunt is going nowhere right now, every job I apply for either doesn't get back to me or simply rejects me. I can barely have a social life with the income I have at the moment, and I'm in desperate need of new clothes, so worrying about a holiday is the last thing on my list. At the rate of income I have at the moment 90% of it would be spent on the holiday, leaving me with little to do anything up until then. It's simply not worth it, and at least if I cancel my holiday plans it will give me some relief being able to spend my money; taking away some of the stress that comes with being unemployed. I also have a £950 overdraft that I keep being sent letters about. Even though it's interest free they like to see you trying to pay some of it off, so I've had to start putting some money back into that account.

So, unless I get a job in the next week or so (which isn't looking very likely, although I may be starting another training course next week. This time it will be customer service, sport and leisure) then I'm not going this year. Stef has also pulled out, saying that she would feel like a "gooseberry" if she went with my brother and his girlfriend. I totally understand that, but I feel bad that she can't have a holiday that she was really exicted about just because I can't find a job. I said that there's always next year, and hopefully the economy won't still be in the shitter by then.

The real world is as crap as they said it would be.

Who Watches The Watchmen? Not Us, Because We're Busy Watching Burnley.

2009-03-15T22:53:12Z

I went to see Watchmen last night. What did I think?

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!

It's easily the best film I've seen in a while, and may even turn out to be the best film I've seen this year. It's only March though, so I won't officially say that yet. Some people are saying it's a bit long, but I loved every minute so I wouldn't personally have trimmed anything off. Well, maybe the corny sex scene that has 'Hallelujah' playing over the top of it. However, the opening credits is one of the best opening sequences I've ever seen in a film.

I ordered the original comic yesterday to see how it compared, so I can't wait to read that!

In other news I also went on the Burnley game yesterday. I've recently got back in touch with an old friend (I always considered him my best friend while we were growing up), so I went on with him and his brother. It was worth it as we absolutely walked all over Nottingham Forest and beat them 5-0. So now we're 5th in the league table, which means we're in the playoff zone and we have a chance of going up to the Premiership next season.

I also applied to an admin job at the Department of Work and Pensions. I should hear if I'm getting an interview or not sometime this week, so fingers crossed.

"ID ID ID!!!"

2009-03-08T17:29:13Z

I was asked for ID twice in the same pub last night. Once by the bouncer at the door, and once when I was getting a pint at the bar. I guess I should take it was a compliment that they think I'm younger than I actually am, but I'm 21 damnit!

It's thanks to being old enough to get served that I currently look like a zombie.

Writer's Block: Deal or No Deal

2009-03-07T01:16:49Z

What's on your list of dealbreakers when it comes to romantic relationships?

View 501 Answers

I'd like to say smoking would be the first dealbreaker, but I can't really say that as a few 'encounters' I've had have been with smokers. Generally I haven't really thought they smelt that bad, but that's largely because I've also stunk of it because it was in the air around me. This doesn't tend to happen a lot now that the smoking ban is in place, but sometimes that doesn't really come into it as I've somehow been completely stupid and taken a few 'drags' myself. I wake up with my mouth tasting like an ash try, and it just makes me wonder why smokers bother putting themselves through that every day.

I wouldn't totally dismiss a girl just because she smoked, but I'd let her know that I wanted her to gradually stop if our relationship turned serious.

One thing I can't deal with is people who constantly moan about everything. I don't mind listening to a girl talk about her problems, but when someone is constantly putting themselves down and doesn't listen to a word of advice you give them then I can't really do much more other than give up. If I was with someone who was constantly negative about everything and didn't have any positive outlook on life then I really couldn't continue that relationship. It may sound selfish but I don't want them constantly bringing me down because of their attitude and, thus, making me lead a life that's just as crap as they think there life is.

Obviously people aren't going to always be positive about everything, but there's a limit to your negativity. If you constantly moan and do nothing to change your situation, or moan about a good situation that has been gifted to you, then it's really hard to have sympathy for you. I'm a good listener, and I like to think that I'm good at helping people with their problems, but even I have a limit.

Finally, the previous point kind of leads into this one. I couldn't be with a girl who needed my constant attention. Sure, I'll give you loads of attention if I like you but I need a life as well. I felt sorry for a friend a few weeks back, as we were at one of his family gatherings and his girlfriend was getting annoyed that he wasn't speaking to her all that much. Now, he's out of the country for long periods and I do appreciate that she doesn't get to see him all that often; but he doesn't get to see his family much either and it was mostly his extended family, so who wouldn't be going around mingling? It's only the polite thing to do.

I need my own space, I need to be alone sometimes. I may love you but that doesn't mean I want you by my side 24/7. Any girl I have a relationship with would just have to accept that.

So, in conclusion, I can be a bit picky.

She's Not An Angel Now, She Always Has Been

2009-02-21T02:13:29Z

It turns out that the 3-6 months given to my mum were massively optimistic. My mum, my guide through life and the person who would always at least listen to me, passed away peacefully on Wednesday morning around 11am. It still hasn't hit me properly yet, and when it does I know it's going to be pretty bad. I just don't know what our whole family is going to do without her. She carried this family on her back, and never asked for anything in return.

Over the last few weeks my mum got progressively worse. Every morning I got up to check and see what part of my mum had disappeared that day, and of course it was incredibly distressing to watch. Around Friday my mum had pretty much stopped speaking altogether, apart from the occasional word - which would often be in superb clarity. She was also very weak, so the district nurses ordered a bed to be placed in our living room. This is where my mum was to spend the last of her days, but it was a comfort to her knowing that all her family were surrounding her. My brother came home from Essex and told them he wasn't going back for now, and my sister came back from her house in Sheffield. A lot of friends and relatives continued to pour in and out, and it just really goes to show that my mum was a really popular and well loved person. A lot of them were shocked at how bad my mum had got, as it did happen pretty quick.

A few days ago my mum had said her last words. The last words she uttered to my dad were "I love you" and we're not totally sure that she said anything else after that. After that came moans and grunts, but the nurses said that any sounds she was making were a comfort sound and that we shouldn't worry. She stopped drinking and eating and drugs were fed into her body via an automated system. They were there to keep her in as much comfort as possible, as the cancer and quite suddenly spread all over her entire body and she would have been wracked with pain if it weren't for the help of drugs like morphine. You could see lumps appearing around her body, and purple like bruises on her arms. We all started to come to terms with the fact that my mum wouldn't be with us for long...

...at least, some of us did. I never said my goodbyes; I don't think I really wanted to acknowledge that my mum could die at any time. When it happened I was out of the house, signing on because I had rearranged my appointment from the day before because I thought I couldn't make it. It turns out that we didn't have to go on our training course that day anyway, as we finished the day before, but that's not important here. As I got on the bus around 11am a sudden sense of loss shot through me, and I sat down feeling a little upset. To me this will always be the sign that my mum had gone, but obviously I didn't find out for sure until I got home. When I saw her lying in the bed she just looked like she was peacefully asleep, and touching her made me realise she was still warm. Curiously my mum's lips were curved at the edges, almost as if she had died with a smile on her face. Seeing that made me feel a whole lot better about the situation, but it still hurts me that I never said a proper goodbye while my mum was still alive. You see, even though she could no longer speak it became apparent that she could still hear us, and the best thing to do was just to talk to her. I didn't talk to her as much as I wanted to, but I'm not going to tear myself apart with regret. I can still talk to my mum and always will be able to, because as far as I'm concerned she's now all around me.

We like to think that my nana died first so she could look after my mum when she got to wherever we go when we die. Ian says God took her so my mum could look after all the children in Heaven (my mum was a childminder, a school assistant and worked in a nursery), and that's a nice thing to think about. Yes, of course I would like my mum back and everything around me reminds me of her. It's not about us though; it's about knowing that my mum died in comfort, peacefully at rest and with her entire family around her. I love my mum so much that it's hard to let her go, but I know I don't have to because she's not dead. Dead in a physical sense yes, but she will always be alive in our memories and the mark she left on this world. Her light will never die as long as there are people still around to remember her.

My mum wished to have a natural funeral, meaning that she will be buried in a wicker coffin (which is weaved, obviously, because my mum doesn't like confined spaces. God, that makes me smile so much) in woodland surrounded by the nature she adored. It takes place next Thursday at 10:30am (St. Mary's, Burnley), and the internment is at 12:30pm (in a natural burial ground in Clitheroe).

God rest her soul.

Conversation

2009-02-11T23:49:52Z

I think the main reason I'm going to miss my mum is because I can talk to her properly, where as it's hard to ask my dad for advice.

There are moments when you can hold a coherent conversation with my mum, but they don't last long. Like I said before, I'm just learning to appreciate these moments more than ever.

My Mum's Current Condition

2009-02-05T00:46:57Z

Thanks for all your kind comments on the last post. I don't have time to respond to them all right now, but I'll make time soon. You took the time to offer your sympathy, so the least I can do is thank you for it.

I'm a bit busy at the moment (I'm on a training course), and pretty tired, so that's why I've been silent recently. It's also because I'm having a hard time trying to express my feelings right now, so I want to gather my thoughts first. While I love writing, right now it's the least of my worries.

My mum is getting worse, and it's horrible that we can't really do much about it. I'll be honest and say I don't think she has long left on this world, and that prospect is just incredibly tough to continue to dwell on. We like to think our parents will be with us forever, and when you're faced with one of them leaving you for good it's just way too hard to swallow.

Her speech is really bad at the moment, it almost sounds like she is drunk. We don't know whether this is a side effect of the massive cocktail of drugs she is on, or the cancer causing this (particularly the tumour in her brain). She falls asleep all the time, and can barely keep her eyes open for even a minute. When she does finally get up to walk she loses her balance quite a lot, so my dad usually has to help her.

On top of that she just comes out with weird stuff. For example, she says something completely unrelated to whatever we're talking about; or just something incredibly bizarre. Most of the time she doesn't realise what she is saying, but when she does it really frustrates her. Her memory is also getting worse, which again leads us to believe that the cancer in her brain isn't as dormant as we were led to believe.

The sheer look of frustration on her face just shows how much she wants to fight this. It is my mum knowing how confused she is but being unable to do anything about it; but at least that means she's not completely lost herself yet. Sometimes my real mum will be there having a proper conversation with you, and those moments are sweeter than ever.

Even In The Hardest Times I Still Have Hope

2009-01-27T00:19:13Z

My mum has been given 3-6 months to live.

With the amount of time my Mum has had to suffer with cancer (I think it was sometime in 2004, but I'm not entirely sure) it has always been at the back of my mind. When you get such a horrible disease it's not hard to think that it may kill that person eventually, it's just you don't want to think it. How can you possibly even consider living the rest of your life without your mother? Plus, it makes it especially worse that my grandma is still alive and now has to face the prospect of outliving her daughter; something which I think may actually kill her.

The cancer has spread to her liver, and some of her lung, and the doctor is saying that the liver is so contaminated with cancer that nothing can be done to save it. He has said that my mum can prolonged her lifetime by taking a new drug, but he also said that my mum's situation is so bad that it can't really give her more than 9 months at the most. So, I don’t know, I guess it's over - even after all this fighting my mum has done!

...but it isn't. My mum is going to keep fighting it, even if the tablets she's taken make her feel tired and ill. People have lasted for years after they've been told that they didn't have much time left, so she may still be with us for a long time to come yet. She also wants to go on a holiday, with all the family, so we can spend as much time as possible together. Unfortunately she can't fly anymore (the doctor's say it will put too much pressure on her brain, where the cancer is being held in something like a bubble), so it rules out going to see some of our extended family in South Africa. There are still plenty of nice places in the UK though, and we still have access to Europe by ferry so it has not totally ruled out a good holiday. Of course, the location doesn't really matter in the end as it's the people you spend your time with that will mean the most. We're still worried that she may not be able to enjoy something like a holiday if she's constantly feeling ill and tired, but we're going to try anyway. We just have to make the most of our time left with my mum.

I really don't know what else to say, I just hope that the doctor is wrong and my mum is with us for a good few years yet. We'll never give up hope anyway.