It’s a wondrous thing when you hit 18 and can legally drink alcohol here in the UK. Well, it should be wondrous anyway but it really isn’t as, sadly, most teenagers have been drinking for years before that. Thankfully my cousin James was different, and although he’s had a fair few in his time it was his first night out on the town (where as my first night was when I was 17) and I decided to show him the ropes along with his brother. Oh, and a very drunken brother of mine that was acting like a right tit.

I was initially worried about how James would cope in the clubbing world, but it turns out that I shouldn’t have been worried about anything. He took to it like he’d been doing it for years, and I think he actually accomplished more in one night than I did in the first couple of years of my many long nights on the town. He was chatting up - and dancing with - girls left right and centre. I felt a bit like a proud dad to be honest, and that made me feel old. I'm feeling old at 23! Anyway, I don’t think he’s going to have any trouble in the female department, where as his brother is a totally different.

I can’t fault Rick for trying, he really isn’t the most attractive guy in the world but personality can overcome that (and, erm, downing a lot of drinks). The trouble is that he jumps on the slightest attention he gets from a girl, and won’t back down until they get a restraining order out on him. He was talking to an attractive blonde girl, and a few minutes later I spied them sitting there in silence while she had an extremely miserable look on her face. When we finally she finally managed to make her escape he came on to the dance floor with us. After a few minutes he spotted her on the other side, and slowly started moving over. At one point he was just stood completely rigid staring at her, so I pulled him to one side and told him that he has to stop it or he’s going to freak her out. He was pretty much gone at this point, losing all reason to alcohol, so it took one of her male friends to tell him to back off because she’s not interested. I swear he’s going to get punched one day, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he already has been. As they say, there’s plenty more fish in the sea. It’s not worth getting punched by someone over a girl you’ve just met.

I don’t know whether I should feel happy that James has got years of clubbing and meeting girls ahead of him, or whether I should feel sorry for him. I’m just not sure it’s worth it all in the long run, although if I was that bored with it I wouldn’t keep doing it.

*Yes, I know I'm a bit behind on Holidailies so I'm catching up by back dating entries. I managed every day last year, but unfortunately I have far less time on my hands this year*

I went to my cousins 18th birthday meal tonight, which took place at an Italian restaurant in Colne. I’m not sure why they decided to have it on a Thursday, as to me it made more sense to have it on a night when everyone wasn’t working in the morning. Moreover it was a cold and frosty night, which I didn’t particularly enjoy driving in but I had a fun time (probably the spaghetti carbonara I’ve ever tasted) and it was all paid for so I can’t really complain.

My grandma was as embarrassing as ever, sticking to her common trend that she doesn’t seem to think before she speaks. She even asked me at one point, very loudly, when I lost my virginity. I’m hardly going to go into the gritty details of my sex life with my grandma, am I? Every time I see her she asks me why I don’t have a girlfriend yet, and that she would be all over me if she were my age (yeah, cheers for that grandma). I don’t think it occurs to me that I’m happy being single at the moment, that I don’t really need someone in my life all the time. I’m not that desperate for company that I’m actively searching for a girlfriend, and I’m just not the type of person that always needs someone in their life to feel fulfilled. Yes, I wouldn’t mind it, but I’m not exactly missing it right now. There’s also the fact that I’m only 23, and my grandma talking about marriage and settling down with someone is just ridiculous. When a relationship happens it’ll happen, I don’t need someone constantly nagging me about it.

Because my grandma was taking forever to say her goodbyes my brother ended up getting a lift with my dad’s girlfriend. Another ten minutes later I was driving my grandma back home, listening to her talking about my mum. I know she’s sad that my mum is gone, we all are, but I don’t need to have a conversation about how depressing it all is that people like my mum die so early. Why does my grandma have to ask me if I loved my mum? Of course I fucking did! What a stupid question! It just brings the whole night down when she starts going on about how much she misses my mum. I miss her too, but I don’t want to go on about it every time I see my grandma. The last thing my mum would want is for us to mope around all the time, especially nearly two years later, instead of having a good time. So I just listened and didn’t say much, which is really the best way to go about things when it comes to my grandma.

Sorry grandma, I don’t know about you but I’m trying to move on with my life and not constantly think about how my mum isn’t here anymore.

I don’t generally do these meme things anymore, but my creative juices simply weren’t flowing tonight. My brother has taken to going on the Xbox 360 as soon as he gets home from work, and since he gets in before me I don’t really get a chance to sit down and write as soon as I’d like to. My PC monitor is also used for the Xbox 360, so if I want to go on and do my writing work I have to kick him off. I feel it’s a little harsh doing that, as it’s usually me playing on the 360, so I normally let him play until around 8pm and just catch up on my Sky+ recordings. By the time I do sit down though I’ve lost a lot of the drive I feel just as I’m about to leave work (leaving that job for the day will give anyone a buzz). I usually end up staring at the keyboard for a while, followed by random surfing and some quick – and horrible - writing when I should really be in bed. I do normally get some Xboxer posts in, but I used to do those as soon as I got in. I need to do that though, and I do enjoy it, where as personal blogging always seems to be sidelined. I suppose I have to sleep sometime, or just stop procrastinating.

Anyway, the above picture (a collage of 2010’s Facebook status updates) accurately sums up my life this year. I find that pretty sad as it’s mostly about getting drunk, but I’m hoping to calm that down a bit in the New Year and concentrate on more interesting and constructive things. I’m just quickly losing interest in that side of my life, which probably means I’m finally growing up. I enjoy a few drinks with friends, I always will because I like the social aspect, but going into town and seeing drunken idiots everywhere just isn’t my idea of fun anymore. I like to talk to people more than ever, and you just can’t do that with loud music blaring in your ears while your eyes are being blinded by the incredible amount of fake tan some girls use.

All I know is that I’m freezing my balls off sat here, so it’s off to the land of nod for me.

I have the time to sit down and write a proper introductory post today, purely for the benefit of anyone new coming over here from Holidailies. I’ll try to keep it short - I’m not going to bore you with the entire history of my life just yet - so here goes.

I was born in 1987, coming out pretty peacefully into the medium-sized ex-industrial town of Burnley. It was once the leading producer of cotton in the world, but now the town is a shadow of its former self. Instead of mills (of which few remain) we have the drunken unemployed, teenagers pushing around prams and old people who seem to think the good old days were when they were half choking to death in the smog. The night turns the town into one of the leading clubbing destinations in the area, although to be fair there’s not much competition. Patches of sick, bloody noses, skirts as short as belts and used condom and takeaway wrappers littering the streets – all these characterise what Burnley looks like on a weekend night. I can’t really complain, as I go out in town enough (and I even worked in a night club for a year, so plenty of odd stories there), but I’m really starting to grow out of it.

Anyway, as per usual I’m getting off the point. I haven’t exactly led a remarkable life, but I do believe I have just as many interesting stories to tell as the next person. Although currently life feels like the same day, and weekend, just constantly repeats itself. My job doesn’t help much, as I work in the ‘exciting’ job of Data Input for a small bathroom sales company. I could probably tell you a bit about toilets, but it isn’t exactly going to help me in life (until it comes to picking the perfect toilet for the comfort of my buttocks).

Family wise I'm back living with my dad, after I graduated from university (with a disappointing 2:2 in BA Hons English & History) and spent a year looking for a job in the recession hit UK. My brother's also here when he wants to be, but my older sister lives in Sheffield with her fiancé Ian. Unfortunately my mum died just under two years ago, which has made it a tough ride alongside all my other worries. I want to make my mum proud, so I'm really trying to work hard on achieving my goals in life. The trouble is I'm not exactly sure what those goals are at the moment.

Finally I’m a bit insane, as you’ll no doubt be finding out.

This blog has been going since 2004, although I’ve been writing on the Internet since a year before that. It’s a bit dead around here lately, but as I said yesterday I’m hoping Holidailies will get me writing here properly again (and make my words less rusty!). When I’m not writing about toilets I write about games (over here and, soon, at my other blog), and I even get chance to play them sometimes. I also used to write stories by the bucket load; not that they were all that great. That's something I really want to pick up again, as part of my dream is to get a novel published.

Hopefully Holidailes will get my mind focused on something different for once, so I’m really looking forward to the month ahead.

Holidailies is here!

It doesn’t feel like it’s been all that long since the last Holidailies, as this year seems to have flown by. I’m swiftly finding out that what they say about time seeming to be going faster as you grow older is very true, or at least it feels like it. It’s probably because you have a lot more free time as a kid, while these days you have to cram everything into what little free time you have. We want to do more as we get older, so as a result we find less and less spare time to fit more things into. So I think that’s why it feels faster, because we’re not just sitting there staring into space and wondering what to do and, instead, we always seem to have something we need, or want, to do. I’m not saying you’ll do those things, but by procrastinating and not doing it you’re just filling that time with other stuff.

I think I understand why I haven’t been writing much lately, because I really do ramble on about crap when I finally sit down to write. I think my fingers actually do the thinking for me, but they don’t exactly get along. As a result you tend to get a lot of conflicting prose, with the occasional weird reference to an imaginary situation that popped into their heads. I have to feed them Wotsits to calm them, as the thick cheesy powder blocks all their senses. The tongue can never resist licking them clean though; that damn dirty traitor!

Anyway, I really love it when Holidailies comes around as it always kicks starts my writing again (although from the above paragraph maybe it’s probably for the best that my hands have stayed away from the keyboard for a while). Last year I managed to post all 31 days, so I’m definitely going to try and hit that target again. Of course, I’m splitting my time between my freelance job for Xboxer360 and I’m hoping to revive No Signal Input this week. I know that it’s taking on a lot, especially as I work a 9-5.30 job that really drains me, but I really need to start writing again as I see it as my future. I’ve said this time and time again in this very journal, but I’m going to be stuck in the same job for years unless I start doing some hard work towards what I really want to do in life. It’s going to take a lot of sacrifices, but if it wasn’t easy then where’s the challenge? The one thing I need the most in my current life is a challenge, because it’s getting very boring without any coming my way.

This month I’m hoping to address a lot of topics as we come to the end of the year. I’ll be doing the customary reflections, but as before I’m trying to move away from always going on about the past and set some solid goals for myself. I may also be banging a few stories out; as creativity is the thing I miss the most about myself. My current job allows for none of that, and I think that’s what’s draining me the most. Although I do think even the dullest places on the planet can create some interesting stories, and it’s just whoever is telling them that makes it interesting or not. I will one day write the amazing adventures of the pen sitting on my desk – mark my words (it meets zombies and unicorns, or even zombies riding unicorns. That’s a market that hasn’t been tapped yet)!

I wanted to start Holidailies off with an introductory post, but I’m going to confess that I thought it started tomorrow so I’m cramming this into the 10 minutes before I sleep (the lack of free time strikes again!). This is what you get when I just start typing to see where it takes me, and I have to admit that I’m not particularly impressed with it. I suppose it tells you that my mind runs at a thousand miles an hour, and eventually I will occasionally slow down to focus on some quality output. Let’s hope that happens this month, or it’s going to be a very confusing ride.

 I wish my mum was still here more than ever today.

So, on the day I decide to return to Livejournal (well, not 'return' as such because I have always been here checking my friends page) I walk straight into a gigantic dramafest.

Oh LJ, I've always loved you but you do some absolutely stupid things sometimes. To be honest I'm quite sick of  the 'share this to Facebook/Twitter/Every single god damn person in the world' that seem to be popping up on every single website known to man (I bet even little green men are unknowingly sharing their whacky space adventures with the rest of the universe. We don't really need to know that they dropped a three headed pink elephant into a volcano on Venus and found it hilarious). Sure, I sometimes share links and videos with my friends on Facebook but there are some sites that automatically post everything you do to FB and end up creating a spam fest that just pisses people off. I remember having a hard time getting YouTube to stop cross-posting every single video I liked or saved as a favourite about three times every five minutes.

It's also a big privacy concern, as just what the hell we're they thinking when they allowed people to share comments on friends locked posts? It's called 'friends only' for a reason LJ, not 'share everything with that weirdo called Bob who happened to follow you on Twitter'. I'm increasingly under the impression that they just do it for a laugh in order to cause a major shitstorm. I have no doubt it will be fixed soon, but it shouldn't have been done in the first place.

I managed to get an invite code for Dreamwidth tonight, and while I've set up an account over there I won't be leaving LJ anytime soon. I still have a great connection with this place - even if I don't update as much as I used to - and there's a good chunk of my life documented here. I just wish they'd stop pulling such dickish moves in order to keep up with the latest shitty 'trends'.

There was a woman on the new series of Dragon’s Den tonight who I was very impressed by. She runs a business selling frozen desserts (see here, but the website immediatedly went down from all the attention it was getting), but also manages to juggle a kid and two and a half jobs at the same time. I admire this a lot, and you could really tell that she is very passionate about both what she does and, obviously, her child. She’s only a year older than me, 24, and she really puts a lot of people in our generation to shame.

I want to realise my passion in the future, but the way I’m going about it means that’s not going to happen anytime soon. I’m too lazy for my own good sometimes, and that isn’t going to get me anywhere in life. Like many people I’m stuck in a job that is there to earn a living from; it’s never going to be a subject I’m passionate about, but who can really get passionate about inputting product information for bathroom products? Too many people let their passions fade away over the years when they should be working on it in their spare time. We all need money, we all need food on the table and new clothes on our backs, but we also have a strong desire to make something of our lives and sitting in the same job forever isn’t going to get you anywhere.

At the end of the day it all comes down to less talk and more action. Your arse isn’t meant to be used to sit on all day (although we won’t get into the technicalities of what else you use it for). That needs to be drilled into my head, and it’s getting deeper with every day.

Work wasn’t too bad today, and I managed to get through a pretty large chunk of the current brand I’m working on. I was ‘prodded’ later on in the day that the boss wanted it done asap, but there are a damn lot of product ranges and I’m going as fast as I can.

If the person who did it previously to me hadn’t screwed it up so much then maybe it wouldn’t be taking so long. I just can’t allow it to be shown to customers in a state that isn’t that presentable, and the team are often horrified at what we find has been allowed through to the website. The good thing is that I think we’re a good team, so hopefully the product listings on our website will be looking about a thousand times better than what they would have been a few years ago. I suppose that part of the job is pretty satisfying.

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Today I discovered that Tesco is going to offer a 'Lasagne' sandwich. Take a look at this little beauty:



At first I thought this was a weird combination, but after thinking about the sandwich combinations I make (which I'll have to tell you about sometime) it's not all that bad. I'm actually interested to try it as I'm told homemade ones from leftovers actually don't taste that bad. As a former student I'm also well aware that food from the previous day automatically tastes ten times better.

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I had plans for Saturday, with Gareth coming around here for once as he hasn't seen this house since he was about 13. Unfortunately I just learned today that it's Ian's birthday on Sunday so Sarah is coming home with him to celebrate it in town on the Saturday night. I guess he could still come for a few hours in the afternoon, but I really wanted to make a night of it and have a few beers whilst shooting him in the face on an Xbox 360 game.

I've turned down offers to come around to his house a few times now, which I feel really bad about. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood, but he is just with his fiancée a lot and obviously wants to spend time with his mates. I've known him all my life, and it's great that we've got back in contact again (through Facebook) so I really think we need to start hanging around more. I need to be more like the 'Yes Man' (I downloaded the audiobook on iTunes through my iPhone at work today. I'm loving it so far, and I think I'll pick up the Jim Carey film based on it once I'm done), and that's not just with him but with everyone when it comes to my social life. In the past year things have been a lot more sociable with me, so I do feel like I'm getting to a point where I prefer the company of others more rather than being alone.

I still love my alone time, just like I've always done, but the shy Tom is not around much anymore. Good riddance!

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I was going to make some connection between the layers of lasagne and the layers of myself, but I thought the better of it